Griffith Park

Since we have moved into to house, I have felt that every weekend has been devoted to cleaning, painting, mowing, unpacking... you get the picture. We really have not had much time to get out of town and do something different. So Sunday we decided to do just that. We took a drive into L.A. to go the the Griffith Park Observatory, and it was wonderful. I have not been since the renovation, and it was great. We took in the Planetarium show (no more wooden headrests for those that went pre-renovation days), ate at the new cafe, looked at the exhibits, and hiked on some of the surrounding trails. The views from up top were great, and we ate out on the balcony which overlooked L.A. It was such a nice day. Sometimes you just need to take off and do something different. I was so glad we did.

December

I can't believe it is December. This month always puts me in a weird mood. It is a combination of wonderful seasonal cheer and annoyance. I love to decorate the tree, listen to the music, walk through the neighborhood to look at the lights, and snuggle up to watch a good holiday movie, but get me in a mall and I turn into a different person! I was at the mall for about thirty minutes on Sunday and I became agitated and bitter, the opposite of what I wanted to feel as I walked past Santa. I can not be frazzled over presents this year. I do not want to be cursing the crowds as I search for a loved ones gift. Instead I think I will curl up on the couch, light the tree, and turn on a good movie.

Speaking of good movies, Whitney just bought me Holiday Inn on DVD. It is my favorite Christmas Movie, but has always been overshadowed by the movie White Christmas (boo). A few years ago I searched for the movie but could only find one old VHS at a video store and since it had never been rented they sold it too me. But now it is on DVD. If you haven't seen it, watch it. Bing Crosby, Fred Astaire, singing and dancing...I love it!

HOME

Chris and I have been in our new house for almost three months now, and it is finally begining to feel like a home. All of the little touches that make a house feel yours have fallen into place, and this is now a place where I feel safe and happy. I think that part of it has to do with the entertaining we have done lately. We had a housewarming party, and our family and friends came to celebrate the house with us. I also hosted Thanksgiving this year. My family and Chris's parents came over. Having everyone over was so comforting and fun! It added a warmth to the house. Also, our two puppies have definitely helped us to break in the place. Everyday we spend in this house I feel more and more lucky about the path that Chris and I have taken and what we have accomplished together. I find myself day dreaming about what is to come, and what we will fill these rooms with. It makes me so happy, and hopeful!

Some pics of the progress we have made:

How is it possible?

It has been a tough week so please bear with me. I feel like I have been really negative lately but I have to get this off of my chest. Yesterday was an overwhelming day for many reasons. Over the years I have developed strong relationships with students. There are usually a few every year that I become close with. I learn more about them then my other students, and for one reason or another they are comfortable with me and like to share their life with me. Last year a lunch crew started to form in my room and since then I have had many of these students come in everyday. I have one student who comes in before school to finish up homework, at lunch to hang out and talk, and after school to wait for his mom to pick him up. I have also had the pleasure of teaching him in his freshmen and now sophomore English class. And after learning so much about him, his family, his dreams, his academics, it is hard for me to deal with the news I received yesterday. His father died suddenly of a heart attack at the age of 52. I try to process that news and my heart breaks. How does a 15 year old boy handle that. Every time I think of his amazing spirit and how crushed it must be right now, I fall apart. It is just not fair. How does he deal, how does he come back to school, sit in my class, and learn Subject/Verb agreement. I am so sad for him, and I don't know what I can do to help.
If that wasn't bad enough, one hour later I learned that another one of my students is being raped by her father. An incident that has already been reported and is being investigated, but she wanted me to know why she was missing class so much. I feel sick that she had to go through that, and as she revealed to me the details of the situation she came across as though she thought it was her fault. I took off my teacher hat and became the best counselor I knew how to be.

I think about what my students are dealing with and it hurts. They shouldn't have to worry about these things. They shouldn't have to be anything but a happy teenager. I also think about the enormity that is my job. How do I teach someone that has gone through more in there short life than I have? How do I teach someone who's mind is dealing with grief, and sadness, and confusion, and anger and...

I just don't know if it is possible sometimes.

WORK :(

As you may have noticed, it has been a while since I have been able to contribute to my blob, the main reason being work. I have been so busy lately that even the enjoyable things in my life have felt dampened because of the level of exhaustion I am at lately. I do like my work, and a lot of the times love it, but i wish that I was rewarded for doing a good job. Most of the time I am satisfied with knowing that I did well, but why is it so hard for someone to tell you, "job well done." In my profession (teaching) we work tirelessly, and do not get paid for the endless amounts of hours we spend outside of our classroom planning, grading, coaching, tutoring, mentoring, the list goes on. I helped to plan an event last Saturday, which was a huge success, but did not earn a dime for it, and then when credit was being given, I was completely looked over. I guess it doesn't help that I work with an insane blowhard that likes to make himself look wonderful! If he could some how figure out a way to take credit for the creation of the universe he would. The point is that I did a good job and sometimes you just need to feel like someone noticed.

Proposition

After yesterdays election, I have conflicting feelings. I am excited and upset, hopeful yet disheartened. My anger does not come from the Presidential election. America made history yesterday and I was part of it. Obamas victory is a victory for so many people who thought that this day would never come. I look at my students, students who were elated today, and I am happy that they have been given a new sense of hope and a new understanding of what is possible for them in the future. They know now that you can be white, black, asian, hispanic, a woman, and still have the opportunity, there is still a posibility for you to be something bigger than you ever thought possible. This is not where my frustration lies.

I am angered and hurt by my state. How is it possible that the state of California voted yes on Proposition 8. Proposition 8 eliminates the right for same-sex couples to marry in California. This proposition eliminates the right of a human being in our country. I just can not see any right in that. Many people that I have discussed this with tell me that same-sex couples can still have a civil union (a fact that I am not certain is true) and that they will still have some rights, just not marriage. My students and I are reading George Orwell's Animal farm and one of the comandments in the book states "All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others." Is this not what California is saying with the passing of prop. 8. "They can be together, but they just can't get married like everyone else." Ridiculous! We are all equal, but if you are a homosexual you are not as equal as everyone else. Separate but equal is not right and the days of Jim Crow are gone! If one human being loves another human being, they should be able to marry that person, and spend the rest of their life with that person. I will never see any wrong in that.

VOTE

I voted, and it felt good!

Halloween

I love Halloween! Growing up we had many Halloween traditions. The pumpkin patch was a must, where we would take a hayride and find the perfect pumpkin. My dad is a wonderful pumpkin carver and he would transform our pumpkin into whatever we could dream up. Halloween night my mom would make sloppy joe's and tater tots. We would trick-or-treat with my cousins and then come back to my house for the popular candy trade while the Rocky Horror Picture Show on VH1 played in the background. I would always try to trade my tootsie rolls for something better. I miss that tradition, and can not wait to start some of my own. Last night Chris and I carved pumpkins together for the first time. Can you believe I had never carved a pumpkin before? Mine is the cat :)

Tonight we will pass out candy in our new neighborhood and I am so excited to see all of the little witches, pumpkins, hanna montana's, and whatever else is popular nowadays come to the door with smiles on their faces. It is hard to describe how I feel on Halloween, but I was reading an article and I think the author said it best,

"But as the four of us gathered on the front lawn to gaze at the now-illuminated pumpkins, it occurred to me that as long as you still get a charge out of carving up a freakish member of the squash family, the clock has not yet struck midnight, you can still mistake a pumpkin for a carriage, and it's not yet time for you to grow up."
I don't think I will ever be to old to let go and have fun on this day. I'm off to prepare for trick or treaters.
one of my crazy classes today
I set the mood with some scary music and creepy lighting.

Hello friends. I created this blog for various reasons, but I think the biggest is reflected in the title. I wanted to have a moment of peace everyday (hopefully) to reflect and share. I feel like time has past so quickly this year, and lately I have just wanted to slow down. It has been a busy and crazy year for Chris and I, and I am so thankful for the things that we have experienced, good and bad. We bought a house, which is amazing and scary at the same time. I just don't feel grown up enough to own a house, and to deal with all of the responsibilities that go with it sometimes. I still find myself calling my parents everyday asking questions about everything. "Something is leaking, what do I do?" I go to them for so much, which is amazing, but I feel like it is really time now to be a REAL grown up :) We also started a family this year. Our two boys are named Dodger and Charlie (dogs pictured below). I grew up always having dogs but I never experienced the type of bond with those dogs, as I do with the ones I own now. I used to laugh at all of the ridiculous people talking to their pooches, buying them clothes, and carrying them everywhere. That was until a couple of weeks ago when I saw a women pushing her dog around in a doggie stroller. Instead of laughing, I turned to my sister and said "I should get a blue one for the boys." So silly, but they have become a huge part of my family!

As I was saying though, time has passed quickly, and more and more, I want it to slow down. I want to enjoy what is happening now, and not be in such a rush to get all of the other things I want in life. I guess if it is going to pass so quickly, I can at least record it here so I can remember.