Life and death

For that past couple of weeks I have been thinking a lot about life and death. While this wonderful life is being created in my belly, I have been surrounded by so much death at the same time. First my grandfather, and then days later a student at our school. This student was a freshmen, so loved, a character, a football player, a friend, a son, a brother. So many people on campus loved him and knew his big personality, and at the age of 14 his life ended. I can;t really make sense of the tragedy so I will stick to the facts:

• He went to sleep and did not wake up the next morning
• we found out during 2nd period
• the school shut down, emotionally
• I had never heard a high school so quiet at lunch
• there was a lot of crying
• I did not have him in my class
• My friends did and the empty desk breaks their heart
  
• I became a counselor and mourner all at the same time
• the kids were scared
• we all came together
• We talked about John
• we still can't believe what has happened
• 
  

It just does not make sense to me. We have now found out that he had an enlarged heart and it just stopped. At 14 years of age he went to bed and never woke up to go to school the next morning. It is so hard for many of us to believe and I feel for his family that lost a son too soon.

Goodbye

Today is going to suck. I don't know how to put it any other way. My grandpa Bill passed away on Monday and today is his funeral. It might sound weird but I am 28 years old and I have never been to a real funeral for one of my family members. I just don't know what to expect, and I know that seeing my dad upset is going to be brutal. The truth is, Guevara men are pretty special guys. I have a really close relationship with my dad, as he did with his, and today is going to be such a sad day for everyone.

I do feel lucky though that I was able to know my grandpa for so many years. I am sure that anyone that even only met him once remembered the experience. He was a witty, funny, playful man that knew how to make everyone feel special. He affectionately nicknamed me "The kid." We teased each other about sports (he is a USC fan and I went to UCLA), played cribbage (a card game that the Guevara's are obsessed with) every time we got together, and ever since I was little and made a comment about the stubble on his face when I kissed him, he would make sure his face was freshly shaven for me. As soon as I walked in the house he would give me a hug, and rub his cheek on my face to show that he shaved just for me. But that is what he did. He had little nicknames for everyone, and shared special stories and bonds with everyone he knew.

The last time we were together and he was feeling well Chris, Dad, Grandpa, and I were sitting around playing cribbage; me with all my guys. It was getting late but once you got him started he would play forever. Once the last game was over and it was time to leave I gave him a hug and he told me how excited he was for his great grandson to arrive. Just thinking about that moment breaks my heart because he will now never get to meet him. But, I am comforted by the fact that my son will have a great relationship with his grandpa, just like I did.