Unemployment

I am unemployed for the first time since I was 16 and it feels so weird.  I have always worked a job, sometimes two jobs, and for 3 crazy months in college 3 jobs at the same time.  I have always been a worker and it has always been part of my personality to work very hard at whatever job that I had and to try to prove my self as a wonderful employee.  For the past 7 years I have been a teacher and this past school year I took a chance and moved from my secure tenured job in one district to a job much closer to home.  With two little munchkins, I just needed to be closer to them.  I knew that it was a risk because it this day of budget cuts no job is secure, and unfortunately, at this moment, it seems as though that risk did not pay off.  I was laid off, and I can't help but take it so personally.  At my old job I was respected.  I was part of a place that valued me, and I worked so hard at my job everyday.  When I moved to this new school, I immediately felt that need to prove myself again.  To show them that I love what I do and that I am good at what I do.  The fact that I was laid off is not because of my performance at my job.  It has to do with numbers.   I teach in a time where our country, our state, our school districts maintain that education is important and that the students are our first priority, but they spend money on more tests and experts to tell us what we are doing wrong, but cut school days and cut teachers.  Squeeze as many kids into a room as possible in order to save a dollar.  I know that.  But at the same time, I can not help but feel that I did not do enough.  That I was not good enough.  That I did something to make this happen.  I have friends tell me "Enjoy it.  Now you can stay home with your boys."  I smile and say "yeah" even though I want to say "Are you going to pay my mortgage?"  But the fact that I am unemployed is not upsetting because of the financial aspect, it upsets me because I am a good teacher and I was just thrown away.  I can't help but feel that way, and it leaves me in a really emotional place.

Happy, Happy 4th

Sun, swimming, family, friends, food, and fireworks.  This was Christopher's 3rd 4th of July but his first one awake to actually see the fireworks, so we decided to do it twice.  Fireworks on the 3rd in Moorpark, and fireworks on the 4th in Camarillo.  He loved it! 

Date Night!

Last Thursday Chris and I had a night out without the boys and it was long overdue.  It is so easy to get caught up in the craziness of life with two babies and not make time for eachother, and we definitly are trying to work on balancing everything.  Anyway, we went to a wine tasting event in our city.  There were 15 local wineries and many local restaurants serving and pouring.  It was so much fun!!!  I maybe had a little too much fun.  So much fun that Chris had to call in sick to work the next day to take care of the babies and me. Oops :) 

Family Pictures

We recently took family pictures. Getting a 2 year old and a 7 month old to cooperate to take pictures is such a challenge!!! Given the circumstances, I think we were able to get some cute ones.

Camping

We just took our first family camping trip and it was so much fun!!! Thankfully my parents have a trailer that we borrowed. I do not think that I would have survived if we had to tent it. Christopher really liked the fire and smores and his "bishing" pole! We went to the water park and on a boat ride and did a lot of needed relaxing together. Before he went to bed tonigth Christopher asked if he could go camping tomorrow. I think he liked it :)

a year!

I have not posted anything on this blog for almost a year. I can't believe it, but we have been a little busy...

...bringing brother into the world

 ...welcoming him home

 ...giving him kisses

...hanging out

 ...playing in leaves

 ...and snow

 ...visiting Mickey

...waiting for Santa

 ...camping

 ...and some more kissing

...taking brother to the zoo

 ...marrying our friends

 ...turning 30

 ...getting chunky

 ...eating

 ...swimming

 ...eating peeps for breakfast

...playing baseball

 ...sitting up

 ...turning 2

 ...boating

 ...and eating

 ...and eating some more

 ...bathing

 ...being cute

 ..drooling

 ...and growing up way too fast!!!!

I really wanted to use this blog to help me record so many of the wonderful moments and have a way to look back.  I hope that I can start to do that again because the days are going by way too quickly.