Unemployment

I am unemployed for the first time since I was 16 and it feels so weird.  I have always worked a job, sometimes two jobs, and for 3 crazy months in college 3 jobs at the same time.  I have always been a worker and it has always been part of my personality to work very hard at whatever job that I had and to try to prove my self as a wonderful employee.  For the past 7 years I have been a teacher and this past school year I took a chance and moved from my secure tenured job in one district to a job much closer to home.  With two little munchkins, I just needed to be closer to them.  I knew that it was a risk because it this day of budget cuts no job is secure, and unfortunately, at this moment, it seems as though that risk did not pay off.  I was laid off, and I can't help but take it so personally.  At my old job I was respected.  I was part of a place that valued me, and I worked so hard at my job everyday.  When I moved to this new school, I immediately felt that need to prove myself again.  To show them that I love what I do and that I am good at what I do.  The fact that I was laid off is not because of my performance at my job.  It has to do with numbers.   I teach in a time where our country, our state, our school districts maintain that education is important and that the students are our first priority, but they spend money on more tests and experts to tell us what we are doing wrong, but cut school days and cut teachers.  Squeeze as many kids into a room as possible in order to save a dollar.  I know that.  But at the same time, I can not help but feel that I did not do enough.  That I was not good enough.  That I did something to make this happen.  I have friends tell me "Enjoy it.  Now you can stay home with your boys."  I smile and say "yeah" even though I want to say "Are you going to pay my mortgage?"  But the fact that I am unemployed is not upsetting because of the financial aspect, it upsets me because I am a good teacher and I was just thrown away.  I can't help but feel that way, and it leaves me in a really emotional place.